If you had told me on January 1, 2013 that by November 13, 2013, I would be committing my life to full-time help those in need, I would have laughed at you. Though it might have seemed exciting (theoretically), the chances of it happening in my mind—well, it wasn't a possibility.
It just goes to show you that you never know. . .
Almost a year ago in January, I wrote a post about this vague idea of a new adventure. At the time, I had no idea what it meant, or what it would look like. I just knew that my heart was stirred with an old passion, to go love the forgotten, broken, hurting . . . to take them a love that was not my own. My own love is weak and self seeking. My love wants my good, security, and happiness above all else.
The love I wanted to take is . . .
a living, breathing, hand-holding, getting dirty type of love
a love that listens to people's needs and heals them—not just "spiritually," but physically
a love that spent most of his time on earth with society's outcasts
The Love sent by his own Father . . .
to proclaim good news to the poor
to proclaim liberty to the captives
the recovery of sight to the blind
to set at liberty those who are oppressed
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
Do you see? I am the poor.
I am the captive,
Because of this sort of hand-holding love, my life has been radically changed. This love got dirty for me. This love entered my mess. This love took an insecure, needy girl dying for love and acceptance and gave her himself. This love is Jesus. When I all-out rejected him in my mid-twenties, he rescued me and saved me from self-destruction.
I owe this type of love my life. And not in a lip-service kind of way. There is nothing of mine that isn't his. There is no good gift not from him.
And so, I am raising support for my full-time job to be working with those in need who live in the city I dearly love: Dallas, TX. Figure that: a needy person loving other needy people.
The non-profit for which I hope to work is called e3 Partners.
So here's the deal: if God could take a performance-based person like me—who judged myself and others on the basis of their job, salary, status, and appearance, to name a few—and get me to the point of raising support to be a full-time "missionary," God can do anything. This is a dramatic shift for me; it is not one to which I know the way. It is a day-to-day step of faith, holding the hand of him who loves me, and walking with him into needy situations, to hold other people's hands, hands of those he also dearly loves.
Thanks for coming with me this far. Looks like we're just getting started!