Don't you ever wish you could forget about yourself?
I don't mean in a self-flagellating sort of way, but wouldn't it be nice if we could really naturally focus on other people and just think less often about ourselves—and not even notice we weren't thinking about ourselves because it came so naturally?
I thought working with the homeless (as opposed to working in business) would equate to my being less selfish. I figured, "If I'm doing something out of my comfort zone, I will think less about me."
It does not work that way. I still think about myself all the time. I worry about how others perceive of me. I want to be liked.
I tell you this thing about me because I realize, "How can I expect others to be open if I'm not willing to be?"
I would rather not share about myself because putting myself out there feels vulnerable. But I think it's good. My worth or value is not actually dependent on what other people think of me. Many times it feels like it is, though. If it did not, sharing about myself would be easy.
Again with this issue of self-focus, I see that I am wholly dependent on God to do for me what I am unable to do for myself, to turn me into a "self forgetful" person, to know that "from him and to him and through him are all things." The things I do are not from me or through me; they're through him—every single good thing I do. I can take no real credit.
"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf..." (Hebrews 13:19-20)
Because of Jesus, even my self-focus is forgiven. I do not understand how he loves me so much.